It’s 3am. You wake up hot and clammy. A cactus withered and died in your mouth. Joints you never knew you had scream for WD-40. Breathing hurts. Blinking hurts. You can feel your fingernails growing, and that hurts. Did you get the flu? Zika? Are you patient zero for the latest emerging plague? You could go see a doctor, but you’re a graduate student with rudimentary health insurance whose coverage documentation you barely skimmed because c’mon, you’re young and healthy and you don’t plan on getting sick–no, you don’t plan on having time to get sick. Would a trip to the ED be covered? Does it have to be a certain ED? “Reply hazy; try again” is the best your fevered mind can muster. Can the Internet be your physician? “It is decidedly so.”
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