Scholar’s Compass is our ongoing online devotional for academics. In it, we ask authors to write about how their academic vocations and their lives as followers of Christ fit together in a simple format: A quote from Scripture or a Christian author, a reflection, a question to think about, and a prayer. Since we launched the series in 2014, Scholar’s Compass has been one of our most widely read features. You can browse the whole series here. In this post, ESN author Christian Brady wraps up his Scholar’s Compass series on transitions. Follow this link for the whole series. [Read more…] about Living in the Moment (Scholar’s Compass Transitions Series Summer 2017, Post 4)
transitions
Encountering God in the Liminality of Graduate School, Part 2
In the first part of a two-part reflection, Scott Santibanez shared some theological reflections on the liminal space of graduate school. In Part 2, he shares some of his own story.Â
It was 1991, during the summer between my first and second years of medical school. I was in the basement of a Christian clinic in Times Square. The clinic provided free medical care for homeless people in New York City. I was filling up a tub with warm soapy water so one of our homeless clients could soak his feet. And I loved doing it.
In those days, we had very little clinical exposure prior to our third year. Consequently, when I began volunteering at the clinic, there was scant medical expertise that I could offer. I knew a few basic things like how to check blood pressures, and some first aid. But a lot of what I did involved doing the laundry, making copies, and sitting and listening to people. Several of our clients were HIV positive. It was early in the AIDS epidemic, before we had effective treatments. At the time, being HIV positive was seen as a death sentence that often caused people to become stigmatized and estranged from their families, friends and society. Coming to know and care about these individuals had a profound effect on my faith, my life and my career. Here are a few spiritual lessons that I learned:
1. Pray.
Have honest conversations with God. I prayed frequently before I began and while I worked at the clinic. If you are struggling through your own period of training and preparation, ask God for direction about what you should do with your life. You may be someone to whom prayer comes easily, or you could find it a challenge. You might even be uncertain if God really exists. Pray anyway. Your prayers do not have to be eloquent or theologically sophisticated. They do need to be honest, heartfelt, and open.
2. Take risks.
Find something that God has given you a passion for and do it. Get involved. You won’t necessarily get paid or receive class credit. Ask yourself whether you are there because you want to be there. For me, this meant a homeless clinic providing care for homeless people with AIDS. For you it could be something else entirely.
There are times when God calls us to go out of our way to choose unexpected paths. He sometimes challenges us to do uncomfortable things or to care for people whom others want to avoid. We must be willing to be disturbed by situations that may at first seem alien and even threatening.
Your choices will not always make sense to others. It could mean turning down a high-profile internship or an opportunity to work in a prestigious lab to volunteer at a place that no one has ever heard of.
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes along the way. You may decide to volunteer somewhere, only to discover that it is not a good fit for you. This is okay. Don’t lose hope. Carrying anger over something you tried which did not work out only hurts you. Forgiveness allows you to move on and take that life experience with you where it can inform, but not control your future.
3. Listen to People.
Get as close to the ground level as possible. Get to know the people who are affected by your field. If you are studying neuroscience, this might mean volunteering to help out seniors who suffer from dementia. If your field is nutrition, you could try delivering meals to shut ins. For those studying music, art or literature, it could involve helping everyday people to visit concerts, museums or libraries. You don’t need to be an expert to serve others. Some days, the most I could do was to fill up a tub with warm soapy water so people could soak their feet. It can be a powerful expression of faith and a catalyst for growth when a person does not have much of something but is willing to trust God with what little he or she has.
While I did not yet have much to offer in terms of professional expertise, one thing I did have was the opportunity to listen. In addition to just getting to know people as human beings, listening can give you fresh insights into your field, an appreciation of how your long-term efforts will benefit others, and motivation to keep studying. Having now been a physician for over two decades, I sometimes feel pressure to move patients in and out quickly to keep my clinic on schedule. I find myself wishing I could just sit and talk with people like I did in those early days.
God will sometimes give us teachers in unexpected places–people who don’t meet our idea of a mentor, who are not experts by academic standards, but who can still teach us. In 1991, I met a friend who challenged me to expand my thinking about many things. Raised in the streets of New York, exposed to drug use, crime, prison, homelessness, and finally HIV infection, he had come to know the life-changing nature of God and was working as an AIDS counselor in our clinic. He taught me a lot about treating people with dignity, and a lot about life.
Conclusion
Liminal space can be a sacred, powerful place, where God transforms us. However, following Christ will not always be safe. We may approach God with practical questions about our majors, our careers, and how we’re going to get through the next 5 years. God may respond with deeper questions–ones that challenge not only our careers, but our very core, the essence of who we are, and who we will be for eternity. It is like what the dean of my seminary once said: “Follow Christ . . . if you dare.â€
For me, liminality meant God leading me to a lifelong interest in the AIDS epidemic that eventually took the lives of friends I met in the summer of 1991. I discovered that for me, persevering through the many years of education and training was worth it. Graduate school can be a time when you reflect upon and begin to answer your own unique questions. Your parents, professors, pastors, and friends cannot answer these questions for you. With God’s help, each person must find the answers to these questions for him or herself. The choices may not come easily. God may lead you to select a different life path than you had originally planned, or bring you full circle so that you decide to continue with your chosen field, but with a renewed perspective. There is a risk that others may not understand your motives and your decisions. In the end, however, the struggle will be worth it. God is faithful to help you find your way and make it through.
Living in Transition (Scholar’s Compass Transitions Series Summer 2017, Post 3)
Scholar’s Compass is our ongoing online devotional for academics. In it, we ask authors to write about how their academic vocations and their lives as followers of Christ fit together in a simple format: A quote from Scripture or a Christian author, a reflection, a question to think about, and a prayer. Since we launched the series in 2014, Scholar’s Compass has been one of our most widely read features. You can browse the whole series here. In this post, ESN author Christian Brady continues his Scholar’s Compass series on transitions. Follow this link for the whole series. [Read more…] about Living in Transition (Scholar’s Compass Transitions Series Summer 2017, Post 3)
Encountering God in the Liminality of Graduate School, Part 1
I once had a seminary professor who liked to talk about something he called liminality. The term comes from the Latin word limens, which means “threshold.†Liminal space is a place of transition, of waiting and not knowing. People who are in liminal space exist in the threshold between their previous life and a new one. “It is the doorway or portal between statuses,†anthropologist Jack David Eller writes, “the road that links the origin and destination.â€[1]
With its years of training and preparation, graduate school can be a kind of extended, self-imposed liminality. One is no longer an undergraduate, but not yet a professional. Liminal existence can be discouraging. Waking up each day without an end in sight can lead to frustration and even shame. You see friends moving on– you feel that your gifts could be put to use in the real world, but you feel trapped in academia. Perhaps you overanalyze whether the many years of education and training are worth it. Would you be better off choosing another career and life path? And if you do continue on your present course, how do you find the strength to persevere? If you struggle with this process, trust God to help you find your way and make it through.
Liminality, while difficult, is not necessarily a bad thing. It can also be a place of transformation. “In a way, the liminal condition is a lowly one,†Eller continues. “In another way, though, it is a sacred condition—special, powerful, and perhaps dangerous.â€[2] “This is the sacred space where the old world is able to fall apart, Theologian Richard Rohr says, “and a bigger world is revealed.â€[3]
Many people in the Bible encountered God when they had left behind one life but not yet moved on to the next. Here are a few examples:
- Jacob was no longer part of his childhood family, but he did not yet have a family of his own. While fleeing from his brother Esau, he dreamt of a stairway reaching to heaven and cried out “Surely the Lord is in this place—and I did not know it!†(Genesis 28:16b NRSV).
- When Hagar had been cast out of Abraham’s household, she too encountered God and exclaimed, “Have I really seen God and remained alive after seeing him?†(Genesis 16:13b)
- David struggled when he was no longer Israel’s military leader but not yet its king. When King Saul became jealous and wanted to kill him, David wrote: “In my distress I called upon the Lord; to my God I cried for help. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ears.†(Psalm 18:6)
In each of these biblical accounts, an outsider encountered God in a liminal place of waiting and seeming abandonment. Perhaps the liminality of graduate school leaves you feeling similarly lost at times. How does one find God in the liminality? One way to start is just being open to God’s wisdom to guide your steps. Along the way, you may discover that God has greater plans for you than you could have imagined—beyond just finishing your dissertation or getting your degree. One of my seminary professors put it this way:
It is more than what you know, what and where you have studied, and what skills you’ve developed. Ministry (doing) flows out of being. Deeper humility also results from finding one’s identity in Christ. Crosscultural servanthood arises out of your very identity in Christ, not your academic training or professional skills.[4]
As an infectious disease physician who completed many years of education and training, I have found myself in that liminal place more than once. My own life choices were influenced by my interactions with God and my life experiences as a medical student in the early 1990s, when I was no longer an undergraduate but not yet a physician. In the next post, I will share some of these experiences.
In Part 2, Scott Santibanez shares some of his own story.
Notes
[1] Eller, Jack David. Introducing Anthropology of Religion: Culture to the Ultimate. New York ; London: Routledge, 2007. Accessed 28 April 2017 at: http://www.antropologias.org/files/downloads/2010/08/ELLERJ.D._Introducing-Anthropology-of-religion.pdf
[2] Eller, Introducing Anthropology of Religion, 127.
[3] Richard Rohr’s Daily Meditation. “Transformation: Week 2 Liminal Space,” Thursday, July 7, 2016. Accessed 28 April 2017 at: http://myemail.constantcontact.com/Richard-Rohr-s-Meditation–Liminal-Space.html?soid=1103098668616&aid=jd48qU30R0U
[4] Stephen Hoke and William David Taylor, eds., Global Mission Handbook: A Guide for Crosscultural Service (Downers Grove: IVP Books, 2009), 40.
“Where You Go, God Is†(Scholar’s Compass Transitions Series Summer 2017, Post 2)
Scholar’s Compass is our ongoing online devotional for academics. In it, we ask authors to write about how their academic vocations and their lives as followers of Christ fit together in a simple format: A quote from Scripture or a Christian author, a reflection, a question to think about, and a prayer. Since we launched the series in 2014, Scholar’s Compass has been one of our most widely read features. You can browse the whole series here. In this post, ESN author Christian Brady continues his Scholar’s Compass series on transitions. Follow this link for the whole series. [Read more…] about “Where You Go, God Is†(Scholar’s Compass Transitions Series Summer 2017, Post 2)